The One Hundredth (The One On the Wagon)

I have decided to get on the wagon.

That’s right! I have decided to get myself de-addicted from internet. De-addicted from updating status messages, from spending time checking blogs, emails, comics. I wonder how long this optimism would last—this isn’t the first time I have attempted this. Stronger men have tried and failed.

I got rid of the high-frequency mailing-list subscriptions a while ago. I then stared at static Gmail pages for a while, before I moved to Facebook as an entertainment source.

I have been putting this off, but today I finally deactivated my Facebook account (again!). This is one of the really (only?) neat Facebook features, deactivate your account without worrying about losing your data. I have done this many times before, the moment you try to login again, your account gets reactivated. The skeptic in you might argue that this is not technically “deactivation,” but then it works better than regular deactivation if all you want to do is to get on the wagon. (Or what Seinfeld chooses to call Off the Wagon.)

There are few things that I just can’t convince myself to stop doing: track feeds, blogs and comics; IM; blogging; sudo apt-get update.

I need to get other sources of entertainment, perhaps I should be reading books, watching movies, watching porn, reading papers, solving problems.

Behind the scenes

I am an introvert, I wouldn’t mind admitting it. I think it is this introvertism that results in this strong urge to keep updating status messages — it is an attempt by some part of my brain to create an illusion of a person that I am not. I mean, technically I can manipulate status messages in any way I want: “Arnold had sex with Uma Thurman.”

People claim that I am a terrible liar: true, it should be easy to figure out when I’m lying if you are physically present. But I am an amazing liar when it comes to tweaking status messages. You’d almost believe that I had sex with Uma Thurman.

The worst way I misuse status messages is by just updating those status messages that make me look cool. I mean, I never write a status message that says “Arnold is so desperate that he’s jerking off to B-grade porn,” or “Arnold is just staring blankly into the screen while the cool kids are partying outside.”

I am living a life on a stage. I am building a false hero out of myself. I have decided that I have had enough of the stage life, there is work to be done behind the scenes.


12 Responses to The One Hundredth (The One On the Wagon)

  1. pratish says:

    Was this the philosophical thing you attempted to write in the Database class which you mentioned in your previous post?? [;)]

  2. arnstein says:

    @pratish: no no no, this isn’t philosophical at all… I’ll leave the philosophy for a later day.

  3. nadeem says:

    keep the blog updated with ur progress in de-addiction from blogging .

  4. arnstein says:

    @nadeem: yes yes, sure thing. That way it’ll keep me motivated too.

  5. Ex-Roomie says:

    This is good realization for you :)
    This will get you respect for your own personality; which in turn will give you confidence for your actions and decision; which is a natural step in the direction of being stud; which in turn will help you getting laid :)

    And above all; this will give clarify your vision which is blurred by this psudo-hero-personality. And then you will not utter statements like “Dude! you are the next after ochod to get laid!!” to AB :)

  6. arnstein says:

    @Ex-Roomie: hey, that was between me and AB, you make it seem as if I never make sarcastic statements :P

  7. arnstein says:

    (P.S. @Ex-roomie: if Buddha had a self-realization about his life, you can’t get intellect-points by telling him “Yeah, that’s true. You suck.” For all his efforts at collecting his thoughts together, Buddha feels pretty pissed off.)

  8. Ex-Roomie says:

    yeah…. i was thinking out writing (like “loud”).

  9. ochod says:

    i refuse to be part of a sarcastic comment!

  10. ochod says:

    especially if it pokes fun on my virginity

  11. ochod says:

    and especially if it comes from someone who had sex with uma thurman!

  12. Shreevatsa says:

    Um, speaking as someone with experience — it won’t work this way. [Sadly, I can only tell you things that *don’t* work, not things that do…] Our capacity for self-torture (some would call it “discipline” :P) is bounded, and if you stretch it too far it will rebound… HARD.

    I did my own “renouncing the internet” thing a while ago, (unsubscribed from all mailing lists *and* feeds, and uninstalled my IRC client) but it hasn’t worked all that well. Thinking again, I think the only thing that would work is to set yourself fixed boundaries for *when* you’ll use the internet, and then you’ll automatically be forced to prioritise… it’s no use unless you actually stop being always “connected” — “Check your email every hour, if you want, but **don’t keep it running**”, etc. Oh well… let’s see in six months.

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