I have decided to get on the wagon.
That’s right! I have decided to get myself de-addicted from internet. De-addicted from updating status messages, from spending time checking blogs, emails, comics. I wonder how long this optimism would last—this isn’t the first time I have attempted this. Stronger men have tried and failed.
I got rid of the high-frequency mailing-list subscriptions a while ago. I then stared at static Gmail pages for a while, before I moved to Facebook as an entertainment source.
I have been putting this off, but today I finally deactivated my Facebook account (again!). This is one of the really (only?) neat Facebook features, deactivate your account without worrying about losing your data. I have done this many times before, the moment you try to login again, your account gets reactivated. The skeptic in you might argue that this is not technically “deactivation,” but then it works better than regular deactivation if all you want to do is to get on the wagon. (Or what Seinfeld chooses to call Off the Wagon.)
There are few things that I just can’t convince myself to stop doing: track feeds, blogs and comics; IM; blogging;
sudo apt-get update.
I need to get other sources of entertainment, perhaps I should be reading books, watching movies,
watching porn, reading papers, solving problems.
Behind the scenes
I am an introvert, I wouldn’t mind admitting it. I think it is this introvertism that results in this strong urge to keep updating status messages — it is an attempt by some part of my brain to create an illusion of a person that I am not. I mean, technically I can manipulate status messages in any way I want: “Arnold had sex with Uma Thurman.”
People claim that I am a terrible liar: true, it should be easy to figure out when I’m lying if you are physically present. But I am an amazing liar when it comes to tweaking status messages. You’d almost believe that I had sex with Uma Thurman.
The worst way I misuse status messages is by just updating those status messages that make me look cool. I mean, I never write a status message that says “Arnold is so desperate that he’s jerking off to B-grade porn,” or “Arnold is just staring blankly into the screen while the cool kids are partying outside.”
I am living a life on a stage. I am building a false hero out of myself. I have decided that I have had enough of the stage life, there is work to be done behind the scenes.